


Brian and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sandwich:  a Gale/Randy Dialogue Drabble Mystery!

by AHS



Category: Actor RPF, Queer as Folk (US) RPF
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Drabbles, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-15
Updated: 2012-06-15
Packaged: 2017-11-21 00:47:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHS/pseuds/AHS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Randy grilling Gale to explain the makings of a very odd sandwich in ep 202. Absolutely silly and pointless. And it's not really a mystery, but I think Gale's answers were somewhat influenced by Clue's multiple endings, lol.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brian and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Sandwich:  a Gale/Randy Dialogue Drabble Mystery!

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by posts on getithere at LJ (thanks, swallow79) and the FuckYeahQAF tumblr. 
> 
> Title is, of course, owed to the children's book, "Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" by Judith Viorst.

“It was a bet.”

“A bet?”

“Yeah, with Scotty. To see who could get away with the craziest shit in a scene. He was going to put a cucumber in his pants for when Ted was caught watching gay porn at work.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“He chickened out, the fucker. That would have been funny as hell.”

“So, you won for making an avocado, peanut butter, tuna, and Tabasco sandwich?”

“Yep.”

“Uh huh. What did you win?”

“Win? Oh, right. Fifty. And drinks at the bar.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“What? I’m hurt that-- Okay, what really happened was…”

 

*~*~*

 

“It was an acting choice.”

“Oh, really?”

“I’m insulted by the skeptical tone.”

“You know I think you’re brilliant, and I’ve reaped the benefits of some of your _Method_ ways, but…”

“What?”

“WHY would you make an avocado, peanut butter, tuna, and Tabasco sandwich as an acting choice?”

“To show how fucked up Brian was. Without Justin. How fucking thrown he was with Justin’s mother there offering him, making Brian _feel_ shit, giving him hope he was scared to have.”

“ _Awww_ … Yeah, right. Like that’s going to work on me.”

“You non-believing little asshat.”

“Love you, too. Next?”

“Fine. See…”

 

*~*~*

 

“It’s a well-known hangover cure.”

“I thought that was blow jobs.”

“Different one.”

“Well-known? So, if I looked it up online…”

“Maybe not _‘WELL.’_ But it’s a thing. Southern thing. You mean you never tried it?”

“How exactly is an avocado, peanut butter, tuna, and Tabasco sandwich supposed to make anyone feel _better?_ ”

“Why do you keep repeating the ingredients?”

“Because they sound more insane every time.”

“Tabasco’s great for a hangover.”

“And the rest?”

“Keep the bread from turning pink? And I guess if you eat it and manage not to be sick, you know you’re okay.”

“Last chance.”

 

*~*~*

 

(mumbling)

“Sorry, what?”

“I JUST GRABBED SHIT.”

“And you grabbed that particular disgusting combination of items because…?”

“John told me to walk around the kitchen, grab food. I wasn’t paying attention. I was just trying to remember my lines.”

“I’ve told you, you’re going to burn out your short-term memory.”

“Yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was fine. John didn’t notice, or else just wanted to get through the day.”

“Sherry noticed. Thought it was hilarious.”

“No one else.”

“You underestimate the fans and their level of _nothing better to do_ obsession. Their crazy eagle eyes, their freeze frame, and their imaginations. I bet they decided Brian was pregnant.”

“That is not in my contract. But I would so do it.”

“I know you would.”

“I never actually ate that sandwich.”

“I know.”

“…Rand?”

“Yes, Gale?”

“I’m hungry.”

“Of course you are.”

“I kind of want…”

“Ahead of you. Check the fridge.”


End file.
